Couples Counsellor- Help Your Relationship

When a couple feels that things are not working for them, the solution they think of is separation or divorce.  They forget about the reason why they got married in the first place… to love and live together for the rest of their lives.  Spouses who feel this way should not hesitate to get help. A Couples counsellor can help the couple keep the marriage alive. 

To know the symptoms which threatens the marriage is important but what is more important is to know when a counsellor’s help is needed.  It is best to seek help when trust is betrayed and talking about it causes more confusion and anger.  Betrayal of trust is not just about marital infidelity.  It can be about making a person feeling that the other spouse abandoned him within the marriage or giving more value to the opinion of other family members or the manifestation that the supposedly shared direction and goals are not being worked out together.

Communication should be able to resolve the problem and not aggravate it because each of the spouses is trying to justify their own feelings and actions instead of seeing things in an objective perspective.  It is actually difficult that is why a third party without any biases should listen to both of the spouses.  Other instances which determine the need for a counsellor are having problems on the sexual relationship, presence of domestic violence and depression which leads to recurring health problems.

How can a couples counsellor help? 

Equipped with the right skills and training, he must have the ability to recognize and address any existing conflict or destructive patterns in an abusive relationship.  When this is acknowledged, he should be able to make the couple have an improved communication.  With guidance, support and assistance, he must offer pieces of advice which will enable the couple to strengthen and enrich their lives. 

Through the counsellor’s advice, the couple should be able to develop relationship skills which will make them more affectionate and emotionally close to each other, understand that both need to share parenting care and household responsibilities because their children are supposed to keep them closer and not become the reason for them to drift apart.  The advice should make the couple understand that this is their marriage and what is important is what they have to say to each other.  Even if other people seem to care about them individually, the couple should still remember that at the end of the day, it is their marriage that can be built up or torn down.

How do you know that you are getting the right couples counsellor to help you?  Check their qualifications.  You have to make sure that you are entrusting your life with people who are qualified.  They could be registered psychologists and social workers with experience in helping couples keep the marriage. The counsellor should first believe that relationships can be made more successful and he or she is there to make the spouses see that it is impossible.

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